Parenting is not easy, so congrats on making it a priority! I'll admit that I'm not huge on birthdays, but loved the quote -- "And downplaying “just making it another year” is like making faces at a tiger in the zoo. Why fuck with him just because he looks far away? In short, if you wanna be stoked about your birthday, be stoked. Tomorrow is never guaranteed." Probably great advice to remember every day!
This letter was great. I'm glad I have it in my email since nothing ever seems to be permanent on these here interwebs.
Re: your four values and what you followed it with...Are you sure about the sadness thing? I've seen that my older one (age 6) goes through bouts of just being sad at times. And it may well be that she's just not having enough courage at the time, but I haven't really found it that effective to do something that amounts to asking her to dig deeper. It has actually been a little more effective to just let her know that sometimes life is sad and we are sad and that the sadness always circles back around to joy and happiness once we get through it. And fwiw, every kid is different and responds to the world their own way, so if this seems like me arguing w/ you, that's not what I'm trying to do.
Your point is well taken. I mean any advice and view is never absolute and it's hard to account for physical/hormonal/temperamental diffs.
My 4 points are really just being reductionist because they are the things I've found to be most persistently resonant and any person would have their own list.
Ultimately this is just 1 fallible as hell dad's list to his son.
I love what you explain to your daughter about feelings coming back around and that emotions are really passing states and not fixed realities
I do quite like the idea of core values to fall back on. I think I can do a better job on that w/ my kids. I keep thinking of my job as trying to help them build their own emotional infrastructure to hang their life on, and yet I hadn't quite gotten around to something as simple as what you're doing with Zak.
Parenting is not easy, so congrats on making it a priority! I'll admit that I'm not huge on birthdays, but loved the quote -- "And downplaying “just making it another year” is like making faces at a tiger in the zoo. Why fuck with him just because he looks far away? In short, if you wanna be stoked about your birthday, be stoked. Tomorrow is never guaranteed." Probably great advice to remember every day!
Thanks Kevin!
Beautiful letter Kris. I so appreciate the "parenting out loud" you share in your newsletters.
Cheers Jason!!
This letter was great. I'm glad I have it in my email since nothing ever seems to be permanent on these here interwebs.
Re: your four values and what you followed it with...Are you sure about the sadness thing? I've seen that my older one (age 6) goes through bouts of just being sad at times. And it may well be that she's just not having enough courage at the time, but I haven't really found it that effective to do something that amounts to asking her to dig deeper. It has actually been a little more effective to just let her know that sometimes life is sad and we are sad and that the sadness always circles back around to joy and happiness once we get through it. And fwiw, every kid is different and responds to the world their own way, so if this seems like me arguing w/ you, that's not what I'm trying to do.
David
Your point is well taken. I mean any advice and view is never absolute and it's hard to account for physical/hormonal/temperamental diffs.
My 4 points are really just being reductionist because they are the things I've found to be most persistently resonant and any person would have their own list.
Ultimately this is just 1 fallible as hell dad's list to his son.
I love what you explain to your daughter about feelings coming back around and that emotions are really passing states and not fixed realities
I do quite like the idea of core values to fall back on. I think I can do a better job on that w/ my kids. I keep thinking of my job as trying to help them build their own emotional infrastructure to hang their life on, and yet I hadn't quite gotten around to something as simple as what you're doing with Zak.