Nov 8, 2023·edited Nov 8, 2023Liked by Kris Abdelmessih
Scott Galloway's addiction to "Explain Using Evo Psych" is always going to keep him in the ballpark, but fouling out over and over. It's not just the swagger of having $$ or prestige when you "wear the pants in the relationship" as those are now worn by women who are better educated and higher earning. It's both more seductive & corrosive than that. Disillusioned males are losing more and more ground, as the war against toxic masculinity leaves them with no good masculine role models to emulate, but lots of bad models who seem to succeed. Where do you go when you have no good options? I was actually an expert witness in a radicalization trial in Florida, attempting to discuss how SEO and algorithmic social makes this worse: https://cbs12.com/news/local/was-a-confessed-murderer-a-victim-of-online-algorithms
Awww, Noah, he's so amazingly neo-liberal centrist. This has been happening for over a decade now, ask any Trump supporter what Zero Hedge is in case someone disagrees :D Liberal, fact-first info is paywalled, while Fox News, InfoWars, and QAnon is all free. My favorite offshoot of this is that QAnon is pulling Christians away from the pews: https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/why-qanon-has-attracted-so-many-white-evangelicals/ What happens when your myths get upgrades?
There are some amazing female writers writing about toxic masculinity and the consequences it has on our young men (and women). Liz Plank’s book “for the love of men” comes to mind here.
A quick search found that paper. If I read that right, I think the relative % does indeed affect the rate.
I have lived this, not intentionally, so it hits a nerve.
In fact, if there was only 1 piece of advice I would give a guy, it would be don't ever get into this situation. That may come across as misogynistic. I assure I am not. It is a complicated psychology that affects both the male and female.
I don't think it's misogynistic. The psychology is real. I know a lot in that situation but the common link is all the families are at least working rich and in some cases very rich but the guy either had status or does work that was never about money (ie female HF partner/male is a teacher).
At the end of the day the guy's status has to be satisfactory to both the partner and himself and problems seems to arise when one of both is out of sync.
I do know once case where the dude is just the coolest MFer (and also does everything at home from handywork, to kids, or organizing to cooking plus is like the most fun/best story person I prolly know) and the wife is a boss in tech. At the end of the day we are tied to a sense of value that comes from what you do with yourself. Nobody is just accepting anyone without there being "some return in the bargain" and the less you offer in one area the more you need to offer in others
Why give a "syndrome" or "disorder" tag to what, in statistical terms, is normal among humans? Americans can't have enough of it. Again, Shakespeare said it better when describing the 2nd and 3rd ages of man (out of seven):
...and then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth.
Youth is a high-vol, unsupervised time that we adults should nudge children to jump in with courage. Then, it's up to their skills, to our social guardrails (micro and macro) and also to luck that they will come through it unscathed.
If you're looking for a broad view of the landscape for your boys then I would recommend Richard Reeves who writes on these issues at https://ofboysandmen.substack.com/. Although we have somewhat different political philosophies I've found him to be quite good on this topic.
Scott Galloway's addiction to "Explain Using Evo Psych" is always going to keep him in the ballpark, but fouling out over and over. It's not just the swagger of having $$ or prestige when you "wear the pants in the relationship" as those are now worn by women who are better educated and higher earning. It's both more seductive & corrosive than that. Disillusioned males are losing more and more ground, as the war against toxic masculinity leaves them with no good masculine role models to emulate, but lots of bad models who seem to succeed. Where do you go when you have no good options? I was actually an expert witness in a radicalization trial in Florida, attempting to discuss how SEO and algorithmic social makes this worse: https://cbs12.com/news/local/was-a-confessed-murderer-a-victim-of-online-algorithms
I'll read this today, sounds really interesting. You'd probably appreciate this post that came out today https://www.noahpinion.blog/p/liberalism-is-losing-the-information
Awww, Noah, he's so amazingly neo-liberal centrist. This has been happening for over a decade now, ask any Trump supporter what Zero Hedge is in case someone disagrees :D Liberal, fact-first info is paywalled, while Fox News, InfoWars, and QAnon is all free. My favorite offshoot of this is that QAnon is pulling Christians away from the pews: https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/why-qanon-has-attracted-so-many-white-evangelicals/ What happens when your myths get upgrades?
There are some amazing female writers writing about toxic masculinity and the consequences it has on our young men (and women). Liz Plank’s book “for the love of men” comes to mind here.
You might find this article interesting as well by Idrees Kahloon. I find it helps contextualize the problems we’re seeing amongst young men https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/01/30/whats-the-matter-with-men
Thank you, queuing!
It is a big deal if the woman earns more than the man. Divorce statistics are high for this demographic.
Not surprised. Would like to see it stratified by income, wonder if it differs
https://www.demogr.mpg.de/papers/workshops/041125_paper07.pdf
A quick search found that paper. If I read that right, I think the relative % does indeed affect the rate.
I have lived this, not intentionally, so it hits a nerve.
In fact, if there was only 1 piece of advice I would give a guy, it would be don't ever get into this situation. That may come across as misogynistic. I assure I am not. It is a complicated psychology that affects both the male and female.
I don't think it's misogynistic. The psychology is real. I know a lot in that situation but the common link is all the families are at least working rich and in some cases very rich but the guy either had status or does work that was never about money (ie female HF partner/male is a teacher).
At the end of the day the guy's status has to be satisfactory to both the partner and himself and problems seems to arise when one of both is out of sync.
I do know once case where the dude is just the coolest MFer (and also does everything at home from handywork, to kids, or organizing to cooking plus is like the most fun/best story person I prolly know) and the wife is a boss in tech. At the end of the day we are tied to a sense of value that comes from what you do with yourself. Nobody is just accepting anyone without there being "some return in the bargain" and the less you offer in one area the more you need to offer in others
Why give a "syndrome" or "disorder" tag to what, in statistical terms, is normal among humans? Americans can't have enough of it. Again, Shakespeare said it better when describing the 2nd and 3rd ages of man (out of seven):
...and then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth.
Youth is a high-vol, unsupervised time that we adults should nudge children to jump in with courage. Then, it's up to their skills, to our social guardrails (micro and macro) and also to luck that they will come through it unscathed.
If you're looking for a broad view of the landscape for your boys then I would recommend Richard Reeves who writes on these issues at https://ofboysandmen.substack.com/. Although we have somewhat different political philosophies I've found him to be quite good on this topic.